#3 An Introduction to “THE BIG SAD” (Depression)
Today we're talking about the details of depression - so you can learn more about it (and understand why you feel this way)
Because that’s kinda the whole point of this gig - I got a massive student loan studying a Bachelor of Science in Psychology and spent years and years hauling ass out of bed to therapy, to learn this shit.
And now i’m healthy.
it worked.
Yay.
But it’s just sitting in my brain,
and that seems wholly unfair to everyone else out there that could benefit from that info - like you maybe?
Honestly, it’s only luck of the draw that i’m still here - that after 7 years of clinical depression (while looking like a happy healthy thriving adult), I made it out the other side. Luck of having access to these four things:
The 4 reasons why I made it through depression
Money. Easy. The fact that I was born in New Zealand, a first world country. To parents who could afford education and to pay for therapy for me when I needed it the most.
Location. New Zealand’s Insurance scheme, ACC, ended up covering me for therapy and time off work in my later years of depression. Without their help, I wouldn’t be here.
Support - From my wife-to-be (I DROPPED MY WEDDING DRESS OFF TO BE DRY CLEANED TODAY AND MY RING TO BE RESIZED AND IT’S EXCITING THAT IN 6 MONTHS TIME I WILL HAVE A WIFE!! Baby gay bren could never imagine), and my family and friends, I was lucky to have support. That’s kinda what this club is aiming for too.
Information, and ability to understand complicated scientific papers to find out what actually helped people with depression feel better and what didn’t.
Where was I going with this? You’ll have to bear with me please, it’s my first time writing a blog and I freewrite privately a lot, as in brain dump each thought as it comes so I keep getting off track. (Hi, that is also me as a human too.)
THE BASIC INFORMATION ABOUT DEPRESSION:
Prevalence (how many people does it affect): Over 280 million people worldwide experience depression. (I know, wow, you really are not alone in how you’re feeling)
Duration for diagnosis (how long of feeling it until you “have” depression): Symptoms must last at least 2 weeks for a diagnosis
Cause (what gives you depression): A complex interaction of social, psychological and biological factors … e.g. a whole lot of reasons from your environment and people and mind and genetics all contribute to it - we’ll go into more detail later.
Types (variations of depression): Major Depressive Disorder, Persistent Depressive Disorder (dysthymia), bipolar depression, seasonal affective disorder, and post-partum depression.
Other Key Information About Depression
(we will go more in depth, don’t worry - just work your way through these blogs and we’ll figure it out together)
Symptoms of depression include:
low mood
sleep issues (sleeping more or less)
appetite changes (eating more or less)
hoplesness (what’s the point in staying)
fatigue (a kind of tired that’s bone deep, unrelated to sleep or food deprivation)
irritability (you’re a gumpy little toad)
and thoughts of self harm. (which I’ve learnt can be in many different ways from “cutting” as I once believed as a teenager only exposed to mental health thorugh movies/tv. Personally, I used to go to the gym and do an insane weights workout, not stretch, then come home and give myself cramp until my body writhed in pain. Seems weird to tell the internet now, but it was my way of “harming” while hating blood.)
Treatment options (things to do to help depression can include):
Phychotherapy (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT for short)
Medication (eg selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, called SSRI’s because it’s way shorter and easier to say)
Lifestyle changes (I personally had to get sober and that was not fun, but ultimately very helpful)
and social support (build that network bby, we’re here for you at the club too).
Risk factors (what makes a person more likely to get depressed):
Trauma (duh)
Genetics (shot parents and grandparents for passing that along),
Chronic illness (fair enough to be feeling low if you’re always sick and in pain),
Substance abuse (that short term high is not a long term happiness unfortunately)
and prolonged stress (this includes stressing yourself out about why you’re not good enough or say because you love your best friend who is a woman when you’re not meant to because you’re head girl of a catholic school in a very catholic family in a homophobic hehe imagine THAT I would NEVER).
So that’s a bit of a summary of Depression, or The Big Sad.
I call it THE BIG sad, because depression is more than just feeling sad.
It’s a fucking overwhelming, life consuming, “serious condition that can interfere with daily life and functioning”.
It fucks up your whole world, makes it tiny and small, until one day you’re 26 and haven’t left the house for months and can’t eat or walk past the mailbox and even though you’re surrounded by people you love, you desperately want to leave this earth forever but you can’t OR THEY WILL BE SAD WHICH DOESN’T SEEM FAIR BUT YOU PROMISED SO NOW YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO STAY AND NOT BE SAD.
And then you’re 29 and it’s 2:36pm on a Monday afternoon on the 7th of July 2025 and you are officially no longer depressed and your wee project of putting all the info together in one place is coming along nicely, and you wrote a whole ass book about it (then panicked so they’re in the wardrobe behind this computer).
Anyway. We’ll get to that…
If you’re still here and reading this I guess thanks? Hi?
It’s been pretty long……
Is this something I’m going to regret? Rambling about depression on the internet without really thinking?
Perhaps.
Oh well.
At least I’m still alive.
So - I’m really proud of you for staying alive,
talk again soon,
lots of love,
bren
xx
